For many years, I struggled with a lack of confidence. The thumping heartbeat, the clammy hands, the chest tightening, the nervous butterflies, and the feeling of shrinking to two inches high were all too familiar to me. I would try and disappear into the background. I would look for an exit route or pray for a hole in the floor!
These days I have a deep inner knowing that I can handle whatever life throws at me. So let me share the NLP techniques that helped me develop unshakable confidence and have helped many of my clients grow in confidence.
The bottom line is that confidence is a learned behaviour and requires different thinking and new mental programming.
Confidence acts like a muscle. The more you practice and exercise it, the stronger it grows!
If you could do with a confidence boost, here are three simple techniques to kick-start a new way of thinking for you and turbocharge a more confident YOU!
#1: The Confidence Switch (NLP Anchoring Technique)
Remember a situation or time in your life when you felt extremely confident. Return to that memory in your mind now as fully as you can. See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel how good you felt. (If you are struggling to remember a specific time, imagine/visualise how you would be if you were wholly confident now and had all the power and self-belief you could ever need.)
Keep remembering and replaying this confident memory over in your mind and make the colours richer and brighter. Make the sounds much clearer and stronger, and your feelings and emotions more intense.
As the good feelings build inside you, squeeze the thumb and middle finger of either hand together. Hold the thumb and finger together for ten or fifteen seconds while still replaying the strong, confident memory in your mind. (Make sure to release your thumb and finger before your memory starts to fade or your feelings start to subside.)
Practice these steps several times until the simple act of squeezing your thumb and finger together bring confident feelings in an instant.
Then, holding your thumb and finger together, think about a particular situation coming up in which you want to be and feel more confident. Imagine and visualise things going perfectly for you, with you feeling fully confident and things going exactly as you want them to go. See what you see, hear what you hear, feel the confidence running through you.
Move forwards confidently, secure in the knowledge that you can turn on your confidence with the flick of a switch!
#2: Stepping Into the More Confident You
Visualise and imagine a slightly more confident ‘you’ standing just in front of you. Then, imagine stepping into that more confident version of yourself. See through their eyes, hear through their ears and feel the feelings of your more confident self.
Now imagine that right in front of you is an even more confident you – sitting or standing a bit taller, a look of slightly more self-belief behind your eyes, emanating a little bit of extra charisma – and step into this more confident self.
Now notice that in front of you is an even MORE CONFIDENT YOU with more passion and strength, more ease and natural comfort – and step into your even more confident self. Notice everything about you – how you are breathing and standing. Notice how you are using your body, the expression on your face, how you are talking and how you sound.
Keep repeating this last step, stepping into a more and more confident YOU until you are overflowing with confidence.
Anytime you need a confidence boost, all you have to do is step into your more confident self!
#3: Turbo Boost Your Confidence
Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want or need to feel confident in. Focus on the words in your mind right now that describe best how you want to feel at that time and place, e.g.‘ calm’, ‘confident’, ‘relaxed’, ‘focused’, ‘strong’, ‘powerful’, ‘at ease’, ‘standing tall’….. (you must choose your own words – only you know how you want to truly feel)
Close your eyes for as long as you like now and think about how those words FEEL.
Visualise the time/place/situation itself and rehearse it in your mind as the confident, calm and focused ‘you’.
Feel how those words make you feel in the situation and visualise things going exactly as you would love them to.
Repeating this exercise often will set the ‘confidence’ blueprint in your unconscious mind.
Then pull up the blueprint when the situation occurs for real!
I hope you have found these techniques useful. Practice them often, and they will become like second nature to you. Confidence is a learned behaviour, and it’s something you can learn.
I’d love to hear how you get on with the techniques- and if you could do with some help or have any questions, leave your comment below.