Born and raised in Dunfermline in Scotland, I had a happy childhood and attended Glasgow University upon leaving school. I studied hard, gained a Master of Arts degree, and with big dreams and goals, excitedly looked forward to enjoying a bright and rewarding future. My future, as I had envisioned it, however, got hacked. And life and progressive physical health challenges started to take me in a direction I hadn’t anticipated. Whilst I did all I could to continue to make the very most of life, enjoyed raising a family, and continued to follow a career path until I became too ill to work in 1998, in truth, I no longer remember experiencing a day free of central and autonomic nervous system dysfunction, and nerve, bone and muscle pain.
It is only fair to say my medical file is complex and requires a lengthy reading. I have been given many diagnoses over the years, including a clinical diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). However, it is now known, rather than MS, that I have the genetic, systemic connective tissue disorder Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), MCAS, POTs, arthritis and degenerative disc disease, bi-lateral neurogenic thoracic outlet syndrome (TOS), neurogenic bladder and bowels, osteoporosis, dysautonomia, and the rare and incurable condition of multi-site multi-system Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) which due to the intensity of pain levels is commonly dubbed ‘ the suicide disease’.
In a life-defining moment in 2002, the horror of a lifetime ahead of pain and illness hit me. On that bleak November morning, all became clear for me: whilst I was physically alive and breathing, on the inside, I felt numb and dead.
I was only forty-six years old and felt I hadn’t fully lived. At that pivotal moment, I yelled, “Enough is Enough!” and decided to do all I could to live my life with more comfort, peace, and joy despite my ongoing challenges. I dug deep for strength and courage and committed to doing all I could from that moment to crack open the darkness and let the light stream back in.
Today, whilst I still live with intractable pain and increasingly complex health challenges – I am a soul fully alive and with spirit well.