The Problems With Life Coaching : 7 Reasons Why Life Coaching May Not Work for You

If you are considering working with a life coach, you are undoubtedly doing a lot of research online, and I’m certain that you will have seen some discussions about the problems associated with life coaching. As a  life coach, I pride myself on the high level of results I bring my clients. Since I set up my coaching practice in 2010, I have effectively coached scores of people from teachers, lawyers, university lecturers, business owners, nurses, doctors, sports and golf professionals, actresses, stay at home mums, students and stressed executives. (You can read a short selection of the testimonials I have received here on the website.)

But if YOU are considering working with a life coach, how can you be sure that it will work for YOU? How can you know that your investment in coaching will bring you the results you want?

Well, I believe in being honest and want to help you. So I will pull back the curtains on the downside of coaching and share the problems associated with life coaching.

I’m going to give you seven reasons life coaching may not work for you…..

I don’t want you to have a bad experience with coaching and not get the results you want.


#1:  You expect your coach to do all the work for you.

There is NO magic wand in life, and no one is coming to fix things for you. Change comes from within you and the choices you make. So expecting a life coach to act like the magic genie is highly unrealistic. Being handed things on a plate, or being told what to do with your life, is not what coaching is about.

A good life coach will help you gain the clarity you need however, empower you with winning strategies and new ways of thinking. They will help fire your belief and self-confidence, and you will find your self-esteem soar. You will find yourself smashing through comfort zones and eliminating all ideas of limitations. With your coach’s help, your biggest goals and visions can become a reality — but only if you play your part!

Top Tip:  Recognise that your coach can’t physically make your desired changes for you with the best will in the world. Accept it’s YOUR mind, body, life, and choices. Accept responsibility and see coaching as working in partnership with you- and you will get the results you want.

#2: You don’t fully believe that life coaching will work for you.

If you enter into a coaching relationship with doubt in your chosen coach, or the actual coaching strategy or process, you are sending a message to your brain that you don’t truly expect a successful result. In essence, you permit yourself to fail and blame your lack of success on others. Paying good money to a coach on those terms is throwing your money away.

Coaching works!

I’ve worked with a coach myself.

But lack of belief in your coach or the process will hinder your progress.

Top Tip: If you want the best results do your research of coaches carefully,  find the best coach you can afford, and believe 100% you are in good hands.

#3: You are not open and honest in your conversations with your coach.

Answering your coach’s questions with the answers you think they want you to say will get you nowhere. Putting up a barrier between you, your coach and ‘your truth’ will stop your life coach from fully doing their job.

Working with a life coach is a working partnership. It is a partnership based on openness, trust and honesty.

Holding back facts or feelings, putting on a ‘brave front’ to your coach, or over analysing your coach’s questions will slow the process down.

Top Tip: Being honest brings a sense of openness – and a sense of freedom and letting go of things. Life coaching is confidential and non-judgmental. It provides you with that ‘safe place’. 

#4: You don’t do what you say you are going to do in between sessions.

You have to step up and invest in yourself and your life – and that includes taking consistent action. Working with a life coach is a financial investment. You have to invest time and effort too. You often leave a coaching session armed with personal development tools and techniques to instigate daily. You will also have agreed with your coach to carry out certain ‘actions’ before you meet/talk again.

If you don’t carry out those actions or move forwards with your learnings, then you are the one keeping yourself static. YOU are the one responsible for your own results. You will have no one to blame for your lack of progress but yourself!

Top Tip: Remember that it’s not what you say you will do, but WHAT YOU DO that will bring you the results you want. Working with a coach who gives you ongoing email support and accountability calls between sessions can help you maintain continuous progress and help you stay on track.

#5: You are not committed to being in for the long haul.

Expecting major life-changing results overnight or a magic wand being waved on your life is unrealistic. Whilst you can expect ‘light bulb’ moments and shining lights of clarity in sessions  – and change in your ways of thinking –  it takes time to firmly install new beliefs and create both the practical and emotional changes you choose to make.

It can help if you imagine you are at one side of a bridge and see life with all your desired positive changes at the other.

See yourself working hand in hand with your coach, putting one foot in front of the other, and know you’ll get to the other side of the bridge at exactly the right time for you.

Top Tip: Check out testimonials from satisfied clients of the life coach you consider working with. See what others have to say about the coach you are considering – and if you like what they have to say, get in touch with your chosen coach and ask for an exploratory call. 

#6:You don’t want positive changes badly enough. It all seems like too much work and effort.

Sometimes people don’t want ‘what they think they want’ badly enough. It all seems like so much work and effort, and they lack the motivation and drive. Without desire and wanting change, however, you will be struggling. You will find yourself making excuses, facing hesitancy and doubt. You will keep yourself in your existing comfort zone and may end up looking back in time regretfully. You may get to the end of your days saying, “I wish I had”, rather than shouting from the rooftops, “Boy, oh boy. I’m glad I did.”

Top Tip:  Remember the only place you will find ‘success’ before ‘work’ is in the dictionary. Employing a coach who uses and teaches powerful visualisation techniques can help you gain true clarity and fire your hunger and want.

# 7: You expect all the answers to be given to you. You expect to be told what to do!

You know yourself better than anyone else, and it would be wrong for your coach to make decisions for you. As a coach, I believe you deserve to be happy and succeed.

However, only you know what you truly want – and if you are finding it hard to work out what you want, then it’s up to your coach to help you. They can help you with effective listening of what you’re saying and not saying –  and powerful questioning skills.

Only YOU know what makes you happy and what lights your passion and ignites your fire. This is YOUR life. Be who you want to be. Permit yourself to express YOU fully!

Top Tip: Find a life coach who has real-life experience and has experience overcoming real-life challenges.

Do your homework and check their credentials – make sure they are experienced and fully trained.

If you can find a life coach who also has NLP skills, I highly recommend them.

They will empower you with powerful personal development techniques to facilitate the progress you want to make. 

I am not a miracle worker, counsellor, therapist, or new age guru as a life coach.

I am your catalyst for change and unconditional supporter who helps you cut through your fear and excuses.

I am your cheerleader, your sounding board – and your non-judgmental ‘safe place’.

I am your encourager and mentor, helping you face your fears, smash through comfort zones and offer you different ways of thinking.

I am a firm believer in YOU and what you want to achieve in life – and your teacher of empowering personal development and NLP techniques.

If you think life coaching is for you, I invite you to get in touch with me. Then, we can explore whether we are a good fit and take things from there.

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©Copyright 2015-2024 Maureen Sharphouse. All Rights Reserved. . Maureen is based in Kinross-shire, Scotland and works with clients locally, nationally and internationally.