The Problem With Fairy Tales

I remember as a child being told stories of fairy godmothers making wishes come true and of magic genies granting us three wishes. I recall replaying in my mind over and over the magical tale of a frog being kissed and turning into a prince.

The problem is with fairy tales, however, as you grow older, is that you realise that they are not a true reflection of life…

The problem with fairy tales

The problem is with fairy tales and stories of magic genies are that they feed our minds the idea that we are not in full control of our own lives. From a very young age, we are being fed the idea that other people or external ‘happenings’ have more power over our lives than we do ourselves.

We see others as fixing things for us, bringing us happiness, and solving all our problems. At the other extreme, we often blame the ‘villains’ in our life as being responsible for making us stressed, depressed or unhappy with our lot. It lets us off the hook from taking action. It makes us feel better when we think there is nothing we can do about things. It relieves us of personal responsibility and resolves us of guilt and blame.

However, living your life according to chance and the power of others isn’t likely to bring about exactly what you want in life. You have to be your own fairy godmother, make things happen, and not leave things to chance or fate!

Pause for thought…

How often have you heard yourself say your dissatisfaction in life is someone else’s fault?

How often have you blamed your circumstances and said there’s nothing more you can do?

How often have you sat back and waited for someone else to wave a magic wand over your life and ‘make ‘you happy?

When was the last time you stepped up and took ownership and looked for all the answers within you?

The truth is as children…

As children, it is only natural to look to our parents and older siblings and teachers for the answers for everything. We hold them on a pedestal as the voice of experience and the fountain of all knowledge. We rely on them to teach us what is right or wrong in life and run to them when we feel hurt for the tender loving touch that makes us feel better. We ask them to help us solve our problems because we believe they will tell us what we need to do.

However, if things go wrong for us, we often find ourselves blaming them. We say they don’t understand us or explain things properly. We get short-tempered and take things out on them when we realise they are human too.

When things go well, we see others as our heroes.

When things go wrong, nothing is ever our fault.

We grow up looking outwith ourselves for the reasons and answers to everything that happens in our life.

If you find what I am saying resonating with you somewhat, know that it’s ok;  we have all been there.

Living in a blame society excuses our inaction…

The truth is that very few people step up and accept responsibility for creating their results and outcomes in life. It’s all too easy to put the onus on someone else to fix things for you, even more so when the going gets tough.

For years I looked to the medical profession to answer my ill health issues. With every new doctor’s appointment, I would hope that this time would be different. I guess I was secretly hoping one of them would deliver the fairy tale ‘magic wand’. In reality, I was always disappointed. I was told to accept the physical symptoms and pain I was experiencing. One particularly arrogant doctor, when I asked him if he thought I could ever get better, peered over the top of his metal-rimmed glasses and said, “After all this time, I hardly think so, my dear.”

I left the hospital that day feeling as if the doctor had completely sucked every last inch of hope out of me. I was hurt and angry – not just at the doctor, I was angry with life. I saw my life becoming more and more restricted and an increasingly bleak and unhappy future.

It became clear that if the medical profession couldn’t ‘fix’ things for me, I would have to be a fairy godmother to myself…..

The same has to be true for you

You must step up and take responsibility to bring the change you want about in your life. You must stop telling yourself you can’t achieve things, that you have no choices, that it’s just the way things are for you. You have to stop sitting back and waiting for change to happen and start taking the action you need to take.

It’s your mind, body, life, and choices.

Know that all big change on the outside of your life begins on the inside.

Only when I took personal responsibility for my life did I stop the downward spiral and gradually start moving it in the opposite direction.

All the answers to my problems were within me; I just hadn’t been looking in the right place before. …

 

Maureen Sharphouse

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