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'The Secret to Feeling Alive and Living a Life of No Limits'
If you are a regular follower of my Blogs here on my website you may have noticed I have been a bit quiet for a while. My apologies. As I type this I am visualising 2018 infusing me with renewed energy and healing, and my Blogs reappearing on a much more regular basis again.
Perhaps that as well as following my Blogs however, you are also one of my 40,000+ followers on my Facebook page?
If so you will have a better understanding of what has caused my quietness in blogging and vlogging as of late.
For I have done my best to keep you updated on social media and even although circumstances have meant it challenging to do so, I have continued to post there every day(without missing a day throughout this whole year!). I have also continued to personally answer every single comment left.
This website blog features personal diary extracts and empowering positive affirmations from my Facebook page during these recent challenging months, for I believe by following my thought process and attitude behind my thoughts and affirmations as I underwent two major and complex surgeries there are many learnings in there for all of us.
I encourage you to reflect on these extracts and take ownership of your own ‘take aways’ and learnings from them.
Att the end of this Blog I share some of my own personal reflections which may resonate with you too.
Oct 9th 2017 – I take today to spend time with my husband Peter to rest, re-nourish, recharge and refresh after a long flight yesterday. (Travelled from my home in Milnathort in Scotland to Los Angeles to undergo two major and complex nerve surgeries and put my trust in a surgeon I had never met before- a journey when including the time difference took over 25 hours). Hurting badly and shattered. My physical health has taken an expected downturn these last two years and I feel as if I have waited for this moment for so long…
Affirmation posted: “My health is important. Today I focus on looking after me.”
Oct 10th 2017 – Today I am meeting with my surgeon and undergoing lots of pre operative tests.
I am aware that feeling anxious or stressed or fearful isn’t helpful so consciously choose to focus on breathing and feel very calm and relaxed instead.
Affirmation posted: “I breathe deeply and release all tension from my body and mind.”
Oct 12th 2017 – Today is the day of my first surgery (major thoracic outlet decompression surgery including the removal of a rib, removal of scalene muscles, and decompression of arteries and nerves). I am expecting to be in surgery for several hours. I create some quiet space and go into receiving mode and invite and welcome all support in.
Affirmation posted: “I open my heart and arms wide and welcome your healing vibes, prayers and love.”
Several hours later, surgery over and finally back in my room. my surgeon takes a photo capturing a beautiful moment- my husband Peter and I holding hands.
This photo is really significant as I hadn’t been able to hold Peter’s hand due to excruciating nerve pain in such a long time. This hand holding moment had to be captured. A beautiful moment and very special for sure.
Oct 13th 2017– My first night was difficult with little over an hours sleep in total as problems with my breathing kept sending the heart monitors off every few minutes. Every time a nurse came in to check on me and reset them, within a few minutes, as soon as I started to drift of again, my scarily shallow breathing triggered the alert monitors to go off loudly go off again.
As daylight comes and in a bid to aid healing and recovery(and get some air into my lungs!) my determination to get better kicks in and I go for a short accompanied walk along the corridor.
(Note It wasn’t only my husband Peter that accompanied me. Just look at the amount of equipment and wires!)
Oct 15th 2017 – After a couple of difficult days I am deemed doing well . All drains and tubes are removed and armed with medication and a full time carer(yes, Peter my gorgeous husband has many talents including my showering, hair washing and all cooking!) I leave hospital to rest in a nearby apartment which we have rented for the duration of our LA stay.
I collapse in a heap once we get there and fall asleep for three hours.
Oct 19th 2017 – It has been a rough few days for both of us as my nerves reawaken and embark on what feels like a furious feeding frenzy. Breathing hurts.Sneezing hurts. Laughing is lethal and sends excruciating red hot daggers piercing through my chest. Pain levels are so high the tears regularly roll down my cheeks.
I recognise I risk being overwhelmed by it all and so consciously dig deep and realign. I choose to refocus my energy not on my pain but onto creating the best healing journey instead.
Affirmation posted: “I may not always choose what happens to me, however I do always have a choice as to how I respond.”
As the day goes on I acutely listen to my body (and its needs), rest loads, and during a short walk to the hospital to check on my progress opt to smile at every single person I meet. I notice a shift in energy and know I will get through this difficult time.
Oct 21st 2017– Days continue to be challenging. I am becoming more and more aware however of being supported by a presence much bigger than I am.
I consciously create quietness and space and sit quietly in meditation. I give gratitude and thanks. – and hold today’s affirmation close within my heart.
Affirmation posted: “I feel safe and supported”.
Oct 23rd 2017- Meditation is now securely reinstated as a non negotiable daily practice.
I benefit from the feelings of comfort, connecting deep within that the stillness brings.
Affirmation posted: “Whatever life throws at me I know I can handle it.I move forwards with trust and faith. “
Oct 26th 2017– Today is second surgery day and pain levels are still high from surgery one. My surgeon is aware I am putting my body through a lot but as I am emotionally and spiritually in a good place we both decided yesterday that today’s surgery would go ahead. I Facetime my family and feel supported and loved.
I am also feeling so supported by the many good wishes including private messages from my Facebook followers these last few weeks. Before I head off to the hospital I thank everyone for their good wishes, thoughts and prayers.
I reach out and ask them once more to hold me in their thoughts and prayers today.
Oct 27th 2017– It’s the morning following my second major surgery in two week’s. I feel rough. Really rough. I consciously choose to focus my thoughts on healing and not my current or future pain.
Affirmation posted: “I breathe through all discomfort and come out the other side.”
It has to be said that during the day I say this one out loud a few times and take quiet time also to go within and focus on my breathing.
I also open a pile of birthday cards I had brought from the UK and into hospital with me. Yes! It’s happy birthday to me today! I am blown away when my surgeon comes to see how I am doing and produces a birthday cake..
More birthday cake appears later from my nurse who is looking after me today. Everyone is so kind….. And at a time away from family, in a country hundreds of miles away from home, my husband Peter and I give thanks…
Oct 28th 2017– I have my arms, heart, soul, spirit and mind wide open in receiving mode today. This one is much needed today. My pain levels have gone sky high despite being on a concoction of intravenous drugs including morphine and ketamine.
The pain team recognise my severe discomfort and spring into action and add in another pain killing drug intravenously via a vein in my foot. Sadly it means I have to stay in hospital another night. I consciously replace initial feelings of disappointment with gratitude for being looked after well.
Nov 1st 2017– I am finally back in the apartment.
This two major and complex surgeries within two weeks has certainly been hard on me.
I feel as if I have been steam rollered, bull dozed , kicked by a horse and hit by a bus all at the same time.
November 2nd 2017 – It has been a rough night again.
I remind myself that sitting moping and dwelling on these negative feelings aren’t going to help me much – so I ask my husband Pete to help me get some clothes on and hanging on to his arm we for a short walk to remind me ‘there is a big world out there’ and get some much needed fresh air.
Nov 6th 2017– Days and nights remain challenging but internally I feel safe and supported.
If I can handle this I know can handle anything. I reflect on how as I go through life I am constantly reminded of just how strong I am.
Affirmation posted: “I am more than I appear to be; all the world’s strength and power lies inside me.”
Nov 11th 2017- Whilst I may be in much pain and discomfort, and daily tasks are difficult, I take stock of how amazing I feel on the INSIDE.
And recognise that is a pretty awesome feeling ….
On the inside I feel alive. I feel complete. I feel whole.
I am not my pain! I am the spirit within.
I am me….
Affirmation posted: “I am not my body. My physical health does not define me. I am spirit within. I am me.”
Nov 18th 2017– With surgeries, hospital tests and treatment now complete, I take time to rest and renew my strength before flying home to Scotland.
I envisage my families faces and their love, and being reunited with our gorgeous dogs Amber and Floyd.
I shut my eyes and envisage flying high above my pain and challenges, a stronger person for having gone through them.
Affirmation posted: “I renew my strength and soar.”
Nov 21st 2017– I finally make it home from the Los Angeles sunshine and am met by the freezing conditions of Scotland.
Rather than complain about the weather I focus my thoughts on how good it will be to finally settle back into ‘home’.
It is time to let all stress and worry go.. I am home.
It is time to recuperate and relax.
Floyd and Amber come home also, as does Patch our cat, and immediately and intuitively spring into ‘mummy healing mode’.
…When you let go of all fear and live with trust and faith, everything becomes simpler and more easy to handle or cope with.
…Our diagnoses, physical health, or any other ‘label’ we are given does not define who we are.
…We are never given more than we can cope with. We all have a deep inner strength which we can access at any time.
….Life comes one moment at a time and we only ever have to deal with the moment we are in. We do not need to be worrying about our next hour or our tomorrows, or the ‘what if’s’ that may never be…
….The energy you give to life, comes back to you in life.
I was away from home in an unfamiliar country, undergoing two major surgeries by a surgeon I had never met before, surrounded by people I had never met before – and yet I was treated with nothing but kindness, the utmost respect and love.
… You are not always responsible for what happens to you in life, however you always have a choice as to how you respond.
.. Being positive is a choice you can make, no matter how challenging or difficult your circumstances may be at the time.
I am enjoying being home now and the process of healing continues. The healing journey from this type of surgery is likely to be 2-3 years as nerves that have been compressed for so long, take their time to regenerate and grow.
I am also having to continue to live with a neurological condition called CRPS, as surgery for the CRPS also that was initially going to go ahead at the same time in Los Angeles was deemed too risky at this time to proceed.
I move ahead completely free of fear however.
I know I can handle whatever comes my way now or in the future.
And that is pretty awesome! Nothing rocks my deep inner peace and my heartfelt gratitude for life. ..
I would love to know your thoughts and ‘take away’s from what I have shared with you in this Blog.
Leave them in the comments below and I promise to personally respond..
As always, this Blog comes with much love from me to you.
PS: Have the most wonderful time over the festive season and may 2018 bring you much happiness, peace and strength.
For daily positive empowering affirmations and top tips on living your best life, join me on Facebook along with over 40,000 followers from all around the world at www.facebook.com/maureensharphouse.coaching
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'The Secret to Feeling Alive and Living a Life of No Limits'